Madam Courage
By Martin Kari
Published by Raider Publishing International a Smashwords
Copyright 2010 Martin Kari
Smashwords Edition
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In memory of my parents-in-law, Tysse and Petteri Kari, whose last name we both have proudly adopted.
Acknowledgements
I would especially like to thank Adam Salviani of Raider Publishing International. Some of the personal names included in this book have been changed, or only first names have been included, to protect the privacy of those concerned.
Personal statements in this book is a word-smithing of the author.
Authenticity is not to be scrutinized here to the last bone for it is a ‘biographical novel’ asking also for embellishing elements.
Facts however, have been presented to my best knowledge. for his very important support. Special thanks again to my personal editor. Karen Mackay, who had the patience and great knowledge to guide me through this book. Last, but not least, I am grateful for the assistance of my wife, Arja, who brought forth so many details of her life story.
Some of the names included in this book have been changed, or only first names have been included, to protect the privacy of those concerned. Personal statements in this book are in the wording of the author. Authenticity is not to be scrutinized here to the last bone, for it is a ‘biographical novel’, requiring also elements of embellishment. Facts however, have been presented to my best knowledge.
Contents
School Years in Turku and Nokia
Away from Finland: Meeting Martin
Enrolment in Finland: Heidelberg, Germany
Sweden-Germany-Finland/Engagement
First Life Together in Germany
Life Between Germany and Finland
Summer birch forest, Finland
Prologue
How is courage born? Let me introduce to you, the reader, the simple truth that courage, like many other character traits, has a humble start in an individual’s life. During life we are all on a journey on which courage has always been an essential companion. Some of us have courage; others have less of it, but we all need courage to make life’s journey.
Here is essentially the first part of my wife’s life-journey. During my own life, I learned to honour her as ‘Madam Courage’. Her life before we met and her personal viewpoints are the subject of this book. This account highlights again that most of the time not only different personalities, but also different life paths have the power of attraction. Those differences can support a life together as long as both parties manage to step aside from an exclusively self-centred individual position so that a mutual learning process can, over time, take place. This is a vital rule in life, especially in cases where people come from very different backgrounds. In our case my wife, Arja, is from Finland and I am from Transylvania (Romania), Dracula country.
We all travel through life never knowing our destinies. As Emilie Carles once said, “There is however a novel in everybody’s life, if only it could be written by everybody.”. Having written about my life before meeting Arja in Volume One of ‘Journey of a Lifetime’ and also about our lives together in Volume Two of the same title, I am simply honoured and humbled to write this book as well. The idea came from Pirkko and Kalevi, our Finnish friends who started this process with a comment: “Why not write about the life of Arja before you met.”
This chapter in the life of my wife is earmarked by a stable, happy childhood starting in 1945 just before the end of World War II, and is quite different from mine— Martin, the husband and writer. A good childhood can be regarded as an asset for a successful adulthood. ‘Madam Courage’, Arja, went out with a personal strength to test this in the real world, meeting people from other cultures, often away from family and the security of home. Courage has been her constant companion on her journey with her own family of eight through four continents in an extraordinary life in which her steady courageous, non-fearful role took centre stage, mostly quiet, listening, and supportive in her Finnish sisu (steadfastness).
Now in 2009, after forty-two years ‘bound’ together, we have learned a bit more about each other, which should be a sound starting point for this biography. Why not continue working as a team in which one writes what the other wants to say. Here then is the result of what Arja, ‘Madam Courage’, has said and what I have put on paper to the best of my ability.
Typical Middle Finland
1
The year 1944 became an eventful year also in Finland. The country in the north of Europe was engulfed in the Second World War with Russia (then the Soviet Union) as its primary antagonist. Only the determination of the Finnish people saved the independence of this small country from the mighty Russian military power. Neighbouring countries of Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania were not so successful at the time in defending their sovereignty against Russia. The meddling of the German military did not succeed in Finland and after a dubious German retreat, Finland courageously kept Russia out of the country. This valiant fight saved its sovereignty.
Approximately twenty-five years later in Germany, a relative of Martin’s adoptive parents repeatedly told of his war experience in Finland. The story was always accompanied by the proud display of his brass medallion from the Finnish war. When Martin saw it, he immediately recognised it, and added, “I saw in the drawer of my father-in-law’s desk a whole number of those war memorabilia.” All of a sudden, the ‘victorious battle medallion’ turned out to be the only confirmation of his presence during the war in Finland. Arja, on the other hand, could not remember her father Petteri ever having mentioned a word of the war. Were they then the real war heroes?
The first time Petteri actually heard of Martin’s existence and his relationship with Arja, he commented, “Rather a Russian than a German,” meaning, a Russian was bad enough, but a German was even worse. However, it also needs to be said that time and personal encounters instantly changed Petteri’s view. Many things in life depend on a personal touch.
During the difficult wartime, Finland also asked its devoted young female population to support the defense efforts of their men. The whole population of the country was once again unified in defending the country against the Goliath invader, Russia. Strength of unity was reflected in the support for each other. This did much to help ease a community suffering.
Winter far in the north of Europe has always been an extremely difficult time. When temperatures can drop below minus 40 degrees Celsius, it brought military action on the ground almost to a halt. This gave the Finns an advantage on their own territory. Russia found itself disadvantaged under such difficult conditions in the enemy’s territory. The Lotta-Svard Organisation of Finland also sent its courageous women to assist war efforts by supplying food, clothes, first aid and intelligence. The Lottas, as they were called, were a chain of support from homes and towns into the fields and front lines. Tysse (Thyra) Elina Jarvi, hailing from a good family stock out of Pispala/Tampere in Middle Finland, was also one of these lottas.
At the age of twenty-six, her charm and beauty didn’t go unnoticed past the war frontlines. Only Petteri Kari could win Tysse’s attention in the middle of the war. By any standards, he was a man of good appearance. However, he came with a less than convincing family background. Nevertheless, humans by nature are compensated eventually for shortfalls. On one side, Petteri had his good looks and his ability to show what a man of his calibre was worth. He never fell short of great phantasies, actions and above all, he knew how to play his role and achieve what he wanted.
Petteri could probably have turned out to be a great actor under different circumstances. However, at the time in 1944 his acting role continued with Tysse. The moment Petteri saw her, they both fell in love. During a war, the reality of harsh circumstances has always brought people together quicker because everybody lived in fear of losing his or a loved one’s life. Beauty and strong appearance also may have brought Tysse and Petteri together quicker than it would have happened in peacetime. Uncertainty is a more common occurrence during war as different conditions bring on different outcomes.
Family of Arja’s mother, Tampere, Finland, 1943
Tysse and Petteri’s wedding took place in the early days after meeting each other, as was the custom at that time. Commitment is still the basis for everything in our lives; we change this and we do not have to wonder why many problems take over in our lives. The parents of Tysse, who lived in Pispala near Tampere, wanted to be convinced that Petteri was a good husband for their daughter, who had lived all her life under the guidance of caring parents. Petteri, on the other hand, was more a man of the world, already in a rush to leave behind his previous colourful life. He begged on his knees in front of his future parents-in-law, “A good wife will also make me a good husband.” Despite the theatrical scene, Tysse’s mother, Army, and father, Artturi, gave their seal of approval to their marriage.
A marriage in those days was a family affair, reflecting on a mutual dependency and asking also for confirmation within the family. Possibly linked to the rise in living standards— mainly in the Western World and only towards the turn of the first Millennium— this tradition of a family sanctioned marriage has experienced changes away from the family towards the more independent wishes of the bride and groom, remaining an open agreement between partners. Good times have traditionally caused the downfall of our human relations. Only difficult times restore our efforts for the better. Is that one reason why, in the beginning of the Second Millennium, so many marriage commitments have come only so far, not to last, but to dissolve so easily? It must be more than a family tradition to keep a marriage together as even the marriage of Tysse and Petteri did not last for a lifetime.
As nothing in this world lasts forever, so it was with World War II. After such a measure of widespread ignorance, it was important for the ones who had survived to continue life in a better way. When all hope through war seemed to have evaporated, new life is often the best way back to normality. Shortly before the end of World War II, on seventh of April 1945, Tysse gave birth to her first daughter, Arja. She arrived two months premature, which couldn’t be regarded too much out of order considering the wartime was drawing closer to an end. Everything had come to an end at that time, but new beginnings couldn’t wait in a victory for life to continue. Baby Arja, the ‘actress’ of this story, entered the world a little lighter than other babies, but with a determined will for a life in the Finnish southern city of Turku.
On the day of her birth, Arja’s father, Petteri, was very upbeat, celebrating the event outside of the home in the company of his mate, Hessu. They celebrated with unlimited alcohol as if they were the ‘creators’ of this world. Apart from this, Tysse had the support of her parents, a support a young mother needs especially on her very first confinement. How is it that often men are ‘overwhelmed’ in the circumstances associated with a child’s birth, despite women being the ‘stars’ of the birth? Petteri didn’t stop short, giving the day its own motto, which lived on in many a family memory. April seventh was the day when Hessu and Petteri had their binge (paiva huhtikuun oli seitsemas kun Hessu ja Petteri ryllas).
Mother Tysse, wedding photo, 23.7.1944
Besides this, more pressing commitments had arrived for the parents with the birth of Arja. The tasks based around the new family member initially kept everybody united. War had left a legacy for everybody to seek support for new directions again closer to the family. Petteri finished the house, which lay on a property overlooking a Baltic Sea arm outside Turku, by himself over the years. The land climbed slightly uphill towards the house in an oblong garden, the road running behind it. Next to one side of the property, on the right side with the view from the house to the sea-arm below, huge granite boulders rose to a hill site covered only sparsely with the notorious pine and birch trees of the Finnish forest. Down on the beach between sea grass a wooden pier jutted out into the water where a rowing boat lay at anchor. The other side of the sea-arm was within reach for a good swimmer.
Across the sea arm, the city started with multi-storey flat blocks, going inland and facing north. In the far distance the solid stony historical square-built castle tower could be seen. Years later, to the west of the water, a bridge was built from Hirvensalo to the city. At the time though, everybody used a boat service to get across. The whole southwest of Finland is cut into many sea-arms with thousands of rocky islands on which the Finnish forest incessantly strives against nature’s fury during cold and long winters.
Tysse and Petteri
Back on the property, a separate sauna building was added, not far from the water. As time passed, the garden leading to the house mainly sheltered rows of low trimmed hedges along a central footpath with paths going off to both sides. Scattered here and there was a veggie patch or one of the few fruit trees that managed to grow on the mainly rocky, granite ground. The house entrance started level with the upper road, allowing, amidst the first drop of the terrain, a rock wall to raise the first floor from the garden. Glass windows of the later closed-in veranda, extended life inside the house throughout the year with views onto the garden, even during the bitterly cold winter. Bay windows on each side overlooked the whole garden side.
In the summer the windows could be left open in a secured position, bringing the warmth and light into the house. There was also a large living room and three bedrooms, of which one was solely for Arja, but was shared three years later with her sister Raija. Further on near the entrance was the kitchen and a corridor leading to each room through the house. The inside of the house was renovated over time, in natural timber, giving the necessary isolation and cosy atmosphere as well. An advanced centralised heating system supplied, from the ground level, cosy heat throughout the whole house during the long, cold months of the year. Bad summer years sometimes called for continued heating with coal briquettes or timber, whatever was available.
Tysse with Arja, 1946
These memories of the home in Honkaistenranta only help to support its own history. Nothing was ever finished quickly, as everything required its own time, as it still does today, to develop into something that we can fondly remember. And so it was with the home in Honkaistenranta. Only years after father Petteri had started, did it reach a status, which could have been called a finished home. The family though happily lived in it from early on, expanding the living area as much as progress with the house allowed.
On a separate note, Arja had early fond memories of her home. One was a visit of friends who brought along as a home-warming gift something special, namely some oranges. What a surprise! When shown how to peel the orange, she found inside a living worm. It was only with some assurances that Arja could be moved to try the orange after its ‘inmate’ was removed— her first orange-experience.
An episode that saved Arja’s young life occurred during the first years on the Honkaistenranta property. For a number of years regularly during summer months, a family lived in the cottage further down in the garden, paying a modest rent to supplement the family income. Their two children, Anneli and Jukka, were great playmates during that time. One day while playing, Arja fell off the pier straight into the water. At the age of three, she couldn’t swim at all yet. Luckily, the other girl, Anneli was older and could grab Arja’s long hair, which floated on top of the surface. She pulled Arja’s head out from under the water while Jukka, her brother, rushed to the house calling for help. Arja narrowly escaped drowning that time. Luck has always been one of life’s companions!
The house was sold in 1964. It was to be seventeen years later, on a homecoming visit to Finland in 1981, before Arja saw her early home again. The Honkaistenranta property with the house had been neglected and run down. On the next visit in 1992 though, the new owners, an architect couple, were about to restore the property. They wanted to rebuild it, not just to its past glory, but considerably improving on it and returning it more or less to the status of Arja’s childhood. In coming years, a later visit confirmed the rejuvenation of a childhood dream. We are also connected to our past more than we are prepared to admit. A home, even when it changes hands, can still recall past memories of our lives. Moreover, when these memories remain positive, they can become much better ones.
2
Honkaisteranta family home, Turku, Finland, 1955
This home was the family castle, holding an abundance of good memories. Daily life paralleled the immediate needs of a post-war era. Father Petteri was a jack-of-all-trades, not only doing everything by himself, but also always finding what was needed. There was never any real shortage of food with plenty on the table— fish from the sea, potatoes, the brown Finnish hole-bread (one of the many Finnish bread varieties), butter, milk, meat, and in summer a selection of fresh veggies out of the garden supplemented supplies as did blueberries and cranberries from the forest. Strawberries came on the market only in later years while in winter, preserved pickled cucumber or cabbage was always on the menu.
A strong man like father Petteri was never short of his beer despite, in post-war years in Finland, alcohol being only available on strictly regulated alcohol cards (viinakortti). The outlets were also kept to a strict minimum so that in the remote northern parts of Finland, one store in Rovaniemi served, for instance, an area of hundreds of kilometres. No wonder the liquor store turned into a ‘Mecca’ for many Finns, because whatever is strictly limited, usually gains in importance.
Unlike Arja’s childhood, whenever Finland went through difficult times in the past, food was an issue. Six hundred years of Swedish rule followed one hundred and eight years by Russia. In 1917, Finland gained its independence and the Finnish people have remained one nation, upholding their very own language and culture against near impossible odds. The Nobel Prize Laureate Frans Emil Sillanpaa also describes in his prize winning novel ‘Silja, the maid’ (‘Nuorena Nukkunut’) the difficult times experienced by the people, especially in the country. There were times when people had nothing to eat, particularly during unforgivingly harsh winters. Flour was mixed then with finely crushed pine bark while during summer, stinging nettles and dandelions made up for a variety in food. When the flour ran out, pine bark helped fill hungry bellies and stopped the stomach rumbling.
Disposable nappies for babies were also unknown. Even after the end of World War II, times were difficult. Mothers of large families had to look after their children and make sure they did not run outside during the severely cold winter. From stories told out of remote eastern parts of Finland, Karelija (Karjala), children sometimes ended up with chilblains marked on their buttocks for the rest of their lives.
Difficult times have always required special measures, often resulting in unconventional results. Father Petteri, however, knew how to make the ‘bobs’ for a living with everything that came along, whether it was a trucking business, boat building, sand mining, and all sorts of racketeering. Activities often kept Petteri away from home for long periods so that the housework was mainly left to mother Tysse. That included raising Arja and her younger sister Raija, three years her junior.
Arja’s grandparents came on regular visits from Tampere, either around mid-summer, at the end of June or at Christmas time. On one of their summer visits, sometime in 1945, shortly after the birth of Arja, her mother and grandmother wanted to visit a local cinema. The men were given the task of looking after the baby. Petteri had his hands full looking after his baby daughter and not really knowing what to do with her, especially when she unmistakably made the point of missing her mum. During the course of this evening, Petteri suffered enough listening to articulated noises so that he completely forgot about a nappy change, which most likely further upset the baby.
Arja and sister Raija, 1948
When the movie party returned home, only two people were happy— father Petteri and grandfather Artturi. What was soon discovered was the cause of the baby’s very loud voice— the textile nappies couldn’t hold everything anymore and when the mess found its way up through the neck of the baby’s clothes, the men had no explanation for this appearance. Tysse and her mother did though, but instead of showing disappointment with the men’s efforts, put all hands on to free the baby from the mess. The occasion made two nicknames stick for many years to come— ‘beer pants’ (kaljapoksy) and ‘tutti frutti’ for Arja to try everything out. Petteri disappeared from the scene as quickly as he could, leaving the clean up to the ‘professionals’. How good are men when it comes to raising children? Isn’t there a common saying, “To become a father is easy, but to be a father difficult.”
Father Petteri also had his stronger sides, which didn’t always fit easily into family life. He must have had a barrel-like stomach. He could proudly tell everybody that he never got drunk, despite regularly testing with his mates who could gulp as much as possible of the ‘liquid bread’ down and stay sober. Those exercises took place after a day’s work, lasting too often all night and ultimately upsetting the daily routine in the family home.
The ‘hero’ often needed the daytime in order to catch up with his missing sleep. Tysse kept these disturbances to herself, keeping up home blessings so that Arja and Raija could experience an unspoiled childhood. Aiti, as mum is called in Finnish, began to have sleepless nights when Petteri was away from home. Over the years, this affected her health so that she could hardly find sleep at all anymore. The force of habit often drives our lives. Yet she never complained or lost her bright outlook on life always keeping her cheerfulness.
Tysse wanted to pass on to her children the experience of a good family life similar to her own childhood experiences. Fortunately, she could also bank on the support of friends. In the neighbourhood lived a couple, Signe and Into, who frequently helped out, looking after the two girls so that Tysse could find time now and then for a much needed rest.
In return, Tysse didn’t hesitate to help someone else when needed. In the neighbourhood, a boy called Kullervo was born in the same year as Arja. Following his early adoption, the new mother had difficulties bringing him up because no baby formula was available at that time. Luckily, mother Tysse had plenty of milk to help out and therefore more or less saved Kullervo’s life in those difficult times. Was it the same mother’s milk that drew Kullervo to Arja with whom she wanted nothing to do? For many years to come Arja didn’t want to know anything about the opposite sex because of the example of her father. She was determined never to get married. It was much later in her life that a ‘circuit breaker’ arrived to change her mind.
Tysse and Petteri, 1956
The friendship with Signe went on for a very long time; even past the life expectation of Tysse’s eighty-five years. More than sixty years later from the beginning of this neighbourly friendship, Arja has kept in touch with Signe throughout her life. On special occasions like Signe’s hundredth birthday in 2008, Arja called her by phone from Australia. Australia had become the destiny of Arja’s family’s life-journey. In hindsight, she had a happy childhood. Finland was a good and steady home. It was only after childhood that something enticed Arja out into the world. The home atmosphere seemed to have become too narrow. The personal freedom that resulted must have looked for life’s challenges.
The days went peacefully by. The family had everything it needed and generally people were not in each other’s way thanks to the relatively small population Finland had and still has up to the present time. People did not have to compete as much for a living space, which resulted in closer relationships between people, at least at the time. Aspirations to raise living standards have, over the years, distanced people in Finland somewhat by competing for a more consumer-based lifestyle. However, during Arja’s early childhood, life remained mostly steady, as everybody was preoccupied with the little that war had left behind.
Tysse with Arja and Raija, Honkaisteranta, 1956
Two of these things were the sandpit in the garden and a timber cubby house Petteri had built for Arja and her sister Raija. Also, under mother Tysse’s watchful eyes, both girls learned to swim early in the shallow seawater adjacent to the property. There were ball games with the kids in the neighbourhood. It was never boring. There were sibling quarrels, but mum’s care always kept them in check.
Later in life it became quite obvious how different the sisters were from each other. While Arja might have developed into a more solitary person, Raija became the opposite, a busybody. No wonder their lives followed very different pathways. Arja saw the world during her life, whereas her sister remained in Finland going through the changes of her life in the one place she had always called home.
When Petteri was at home, he made up for lost time by playing the best imaginable ‘good-time-uncle’. His own fairytales and adventure stories fascinated everybody, including the neighbours’ children, who stayed on far into the night to experience the fairytale world. Petteri could produce by his magic. Actually he managed this way from time to time to make up lost ground with his family. It is a pity that the details of his stories were lost because it would have made a fantastic children’s fairytale collection— one in which Petteri was also a great actor.
Today Arja can recall only one of her father’s goodnight stories, which has remained especially in her memory— a story told of how young stowaways came to see the world with its many different, marvellous countries unnoticed and free of charge. The following morning this prompted two friends from the neighbourhood to ‘pilgrim’ all the way to the harbour, where the police, already alerted by the parents, picked them up near a docked ship fortunately just in time before the kids’ plan to secretly board a ship could turn into reality. Once the two arrived in front of the monstrous hull, they couldn’t pluck up the courage any more to board the ‘monster’. In the end, a return home for the two runaways was not quite so distant and adventurous any more in the care of the police. How easily an idea can sometimes spark action, regardless of age and especially when phantasies lack the experience of much needed reality. When the end turns out well, nothing is lost, even in a young dreamers’ excursion. Nobody in the neighbourhood could therefore be upset when the police returned the two ‘world travellers’ safely to their doorsteps. On hearing about the incident, Petteri was amused, promising that from then on he would try to tell less adventurous goodnight stories.
The fact is that where there is much sunshine, there is also a lot of shade. This had been the case with Petteri too. Life doesn’t always run on an even keel, allowing only the good to dominate. Children adored Petteri for he was a gentle, strong personality, showing it unfortunately more outside of his own family than on the home front. Home was, for Petteri, a place of refuge, which he sought when he needed it. Sometimes he seemed to have no limits to his self-assurance, but insiders like his own wife could see through this veneer. When Petteri had money, nothing stopped him from playing the greatest actor, but lack of money turned him into a surprisingly, quiet person trying to get away from himself.
Dressing up, Tysse and Petteri with friends
It was not difficult to establish in which ‘reality’ Petteri was standing at any one time. One day, reports reached the family home that Petteri had staged his own show, making flying objects out of current bank notes and throwing them to passing pedestrians from a shop entrance, not hesitating to also fulfil individual customer’s wishes from inside the shop. No wonder Petteri was regarded the hero of the day as everybody around him was happy about such a performance, including Petteri. Listening to what people had to say about this extravagancy, mother Tysse on the other hand definitely was not impressed, as this giveaway money would have better served the family.
Anyway, special people like Petteri couldn’t be measured by normal standards. Arja later came to know that Petteri’s mother had spoiled him too much in comparison to his older brother. Such inconsistency in raising children during the difficult times after World War I led to extreme behaviour patterns— the neglected brother ended up hanging himself, while the spoilt son, Petteri, could never get enough recognition in life. Both brothers channelled their controversial early lives into contentious adulthood.
Everybody’s life is like a building. The building blocks really matter and how they are put in place in order to form a proper building— a home with relative stability – is basically the same for everyone. When the foundation begins shakily, the rest that follows is likely to be shaky as well. Only a person with outstanding self-discipline can go back to the foundation to make corrections. Petteri had many outstanding character features, but he had a definite shortcomings in self-discipline.
Another attraction was soon on Petteri’s timetable. He had organized, God knows from where, a tank from the war and put it back on the street one day. Firstly though, he put lots of children in it and together they had a great time driving through the city and stopping all the traffic. In the end, police stopped this fun drive only after people across the whole city centre had taken note of this extraordinary event. If the children were not in the tank, most people would probably have thought that war had started again, such was the confusion amongst most ordinary citizens. Petteri still managed to focus on the bright side of the event and not let the others spoil the fun. He was the one who started it and knew also how to get out of it unharmed. Having been a known personality to almost everybody in and around town, he certainly also benefited from his public status in which ‘mates do not harm mates’. When somebody wanted to challenge him, he was never at a loss.
On another day, a little rogue out of the neighbourhood had the audacity to argue with Petteri about whether or not somebody would have the courage to smear tar onto their face. As this challenge didn’t abate, Petteri went off to grab some tar from his workshop, returning to the scene and showing that he could do what was asked for. A big stink from the neighbours followed, but the storm disappeared again as quickly as it had arrived. Who would stand up in front of Petteri?
All in all, father Petteri definitely was a man of his own class! Virtually nothing could stop him from proving this to himself. Fortunately, mother Tysse understood how to keep the ‘garbage’ out of family life, especially when it came to undertakings, which Petteri knew to justify with, “I am ahead of my time”. Other women often gave him a helping hand, which should not be a complete surprise, considering his strong appearance and very good looks.
At a certain time, Petteri couldn’t get a business with women off the ground, all the while trying to receive the secret approval. This venture got nowhere because in Finland the law doesn’t allow, even today, ‘the commercial exploitation of women’. This kind of enterprise only became noticeable later when mother Tysse spoke for the first time about life-sized pin-up girls, which had decorated the room of the newlyweds in the house of Petteri’s mother. As a child, Arja could not understand this sort of behaviour, but experienced instead a personal confusion, which continued to haunt her for many years to come.
There was on one side the feeling that Arja should grow into a good woman; on the other was the example of Petteri, sending mixed messages about women. At the same time out of this milieu, Arja and her sister were probably the first in the whole country to receive a wonderful, rubber Donald Duck and a beautiful, big walking doll from Sweden. They were both much admired and the Donald Duck managed to still be with Arja in Australia, 60 years later.
Mother Tysse spoke every now and then about Petteri’s extravagances with other women in order to protect her own family. She got caught between the fronts while her main goal remained however to raise, in the best possible way, her two children with the help of family and friends. Her personal pride as a woman of outstanding character and appearance overlooked for some time the negative fallout of an extraordinary husband. She could look past the problems into the future of her two children, managing also to keep everybody around her, including her own family, on positive terms with life and the negative sides away from others.
She must have thought, “Nobody can turn these negative sides away, not to mention doing anything about it, so why should I bother other people?” This outright, courageous attitude was not without effect on her own well-being!
From early childhood, Arja kept mostly to herself, but was never incapable of occupying herself. Tysse came one day with a girl of the same age as Arja. At that time Tuija was also two years old and came from the neighbourhood, a little bit further away. Tysse and Tuija’s mother, Sirkka, became friends simply out of the circumstances that both women had to deal with extraordinary husbands. The problems brought them closer.
While Petteri lived a life in full swing, rarely missing out on anything (good or bad), Arja’s new friend’s father frequently got into trouble for activities he couldn’t always control. As a matter of fact, the mother of Tuija also had two girls and was constantly finding herself on the receiving end of trouble. The most disturbing part of it was that both mothers came from good family stock and had their hands full raising children in good faith away from the darker side of their husbands’ lives. Petteri, however, was never caught in flagrante.
Tuija immediately became Arja’s friend and remained friends throughout their whole lives. She had a very pleasant nature, always remaining happy and friendly. Her lips never said a bad word. Throughout her life, the question could be raised, “How come this person with such a positive outlook on life is continuously dealt such heavy blows throughout her life?” Does life follow preset conditions of good and bad? It is difficult to believe somebody can survive such conditions. While she never changed her friendly and open nature, her husband also went off the tracks, succumbing finally to a health problem.
Her only son followed most promisingly in the footsteps of his mother and led a healthy, steady life, but still tragedy caught up with him. He passed away far too early at the age of thirty, succumbing to cancer. This not being enough, friend Tuija who had lived an unparalleled, steady life, also passed away much too early at the age of sixty from cancer. The fate of Tuija might have had some connection to the nuclear accident of Chernobyl in the Soviet Union. The radiation fallout carried as far as Finland. Some people seem to get all the bad things in life, while others often disregard steady life rules and get away with it. Sensitivities of people unfortunately react differently to such unnatural exposure.
During childhood, Arja and Tuija stored up a vast number of happy memories. There were never any disagreements with time together spent always in an easy understanding in which neither of the girls ever tried to get the upper hand. As soon as school had taught them enough of how to read and write, they both spent time in enthusiastic reading, often exchanging fantasies from the stories and even staging plays, often held in Arja’s garden. Other children loved to join in these plays as co-actors or spectators.
The best time in Finland has always been summer, when the days extend through the night with the sun only dipping below the horizon for a few hours. Nature’s preparation for summer and its exodus into winter are short, distinct times of the year. Winter with its on and off time can extend up to nine months of the year. No wonder that everybody in Finland lives summer to the fullest.
Typical rural Finland, 1950–1960
During the month of May, virtually overnight, Finnish nature explodes into life with fresh, green colours. It is a show of nature’s strength after a bitterly cold, long winter. During a good summer, the long sunny days last well into the night hours nearly to midnight and the sun returns in the first, early hours of the day. This happens everywhere except in the far north where the sun doesn’t disappear at all. The longest day in the northern hemisphere, the tweny-first of June, is a time of festivity when almost all Finns celebrate ‘Mid-Summer Night’ by ancient rituals of big bonfires and a good feast.
Storms during summer happened regardless of whether or not father Petteri was at home. Regular summer storms affected the family as Arja’s mother and younger sister sought refuge each time with the neighbours in the hope of finding distraction from their fear in the company of others. According to them, talking to somebody behind thoroughly shut windows helped to focus their attention away from the intense lightning and its following rumbling that sent vibration waves through the air right into the house. In the case of none of the surrounding neighbours being at home, Tysse and Raija locked themselves into the bedroom hiding under the blanket. They buried their heads under pillows, wishing and hoping the thunder would go away to where they couldn’t hear or see it.
Arja, on the other hand, stood on the other side laughing at them and saying, “There is nothing to worry about, the thunder is not after us in particular.” She had no fear whatsoever because she knew that it would go again as quickly as it had arrived. At least the dog joined her in her room, reassuring himself by staying either close to Arja’s side when she was sitting in front of her study desk or hiding under the bed.
Why worry about something we can’t control anyway? Take it as it comes and remain watchful to do the right thing in case something unpredictable happens. The right thing would still be, to stay calm. Following this rule, we are also less likely to make mistakes. Tysse, however, could not be convinced to stay calm during a thunderstorm and wait through it, keeping some mental distance from the storm. This was one particular difference between mother and daughter. However, once the storm had gone, life continued once more along its usual path, eventually taking its course again more to everybody’s likings. We all have stronger and weaker expressions, largely depending on how we look at life. All that matters in the end is that life continues.
Summer was the same for everybody— a time for outdoor living, compensating for the long, cold, twilight, winter days. Swimming was almost daily on the calendar and later when Arja became strong enough to row a boat further out into the sea-arm, hours were spent on the water. All this represented entertainment, which was offered then. Dogs in the family played their own role, but it was mainly Arja who spent time with the dogs because of her love of animals. During those days of her youth, dog Slipi, a lakeland terrier, often took his place on the highest point of the keel while he watched the pair of oars moving simultaneously, each one resting in a folk on the sides of the wooden boat on the rail approximately in the boat’s centre. Slipi kept himself busy looking for fish, which sent air bubbles to the water’s surface.
Not many other boats were on the water at these times as this archipelago of sea-arms spread over a vast area of the south-west coast of Finland, leaving more than enough spaces for the bigger boats to move further out. On sunny days, the seawater lay mostly calm, almost dark black between shores of mixed forest of dark green pine, light green leafy larches, spotted in between with birch trees of which the grey-white trunks stood out. Reddish timber houses often look from granite boulders through to the sea, whereas the smaller timber sauna buildings lined the shore.
Sauna is a Finnish cultural element carried along through history wherever the Finns moved on their migratory paths to today’s Finland. During the week, apart from weekends, time could probably allow once more a sauna heater to get started, at that time with timber. A swim in the sea could alternately follow after a good hot sweat in the closed, heated sauna hut. A sauna visit delivers with its hot vapour the very best cleansing to the entire body. Even during winter, when the sea is frozen solid, many Finns dig ice holes and swim after a sauna in icy water, or roll in a
Tysse, winter swim in ice hole
snowfield. After such ‘torture’ everybody feels like a newborn; at least one will know by then to be healthy when surviving it. Especially after sauna, food and drinks are excellent companions in any party with friends or family.
Returning from a pleasant, timeless, non pressing afternoon boat trip, it was essential to look after the dogs in order to keep them near the house. The dog before Slipi, Roy, a German long-coat pointer, caused neighbours to file complaints many times about their missing cats. In order to keep the peace, considerable amounts of money changed hands as lost pets suddenly rated extraordinarily high in value. However, neighbours didn’t always necessarily seek to see somebody on the property about a lost cat or a chook. Once, a neighbour decided that she had had enough from the dog-killing cats and called the police. This caused a great deal of anxiety over whether or not the dog would survive.
Another neighbour came to the rescue trying to find a way out of this sudden impasse, but she kept insisting, “This dog is now only for the police!” Roy was eventually taken away by the police. Later in the day, when Petteri turned up at home for a change, he answered the police request to appear in person. Petteri returned home sometimes later, miraculously bringing the dog back— to the anger of this certain neighbour. Petteri never mentioned how the dog was saved from being put down.
On another occasion, the dog Roy deposited a chook on the doorstep. While the dog was not sure as to whether he would receive approval or reprimand, he kept his foot across the chicken, preventing it from moving again. When somebody arrived to rescue the chook, the poor bird was already stripped of its feathers, but was still able to lay eggs, one of which the dog had firmly secured under his other front paw. Miracles do happen; the chook survived its ordeal! Not so much the egg, but the chook incident once more required the expert diplomacy father Petteri brought up with the neighbours. Admission, apology, determination with strong arguments were mixed in a way that Petteri always helped smooth the initial upset.
“Here we are again. We’ve got trouble but luckily you didn’t lose the chook; so what can we do? To call the police, means only more trouble. I wouldn’t rest before this is sorted out acceptably also for both of us. Let’s find a way out for both of us and remain good neighbours. We will look after the dog better and you after your chook in future. Here take this consolation and we remain good neighbours. I don’t want to hear anything anymore after we have departed. All I can offer you in addition is, come and we’ll have a beer together to forget this regrettable event. We can’t become cross with each other only because of a chook. Don’t you think so? Come into my house and let’s forget about all this.”
Snow competing with the white of birch trees
At least for the sake of a good neighbourhood, the price was not too high in the end. After each summer, winter had to follow. First a short autumn set in, changing, sometimes only for one day, the leafy trees into a colourful display ranging from yellow to a variety of red. Even in the dying moments, nature displays its strength in a beauty, as if a farewell was meant only to be limited in order to become resurrected in a distant future. When during ‘ruska’ (autumn leaf-change), the colourful leaves have fallen to the ground, the trees look empty; a skeleton of their branches is left behind.
Wind and rain gradually turn colder over the coming weeks until in late November, snow lightens the country from grey obscurity. Fields of rolling hills between forests have been harvested and the soil rests ploughed under a white layer of snow. The whole country has turned calm waiting for new life to return in a new edition and even waves were immobilized in the Baltic Sea by a growing ice-cover. This is then the time of life spent mainly inside houses where double windows and double outside-doors keep winter from penetrating homes. Busy ovens burn firewood, collected during summer and cut into regular sizes, spreading cosy warmth in Finnish homes during long winter months.
3
School years in Turku and Nokia
As soon as school started, reading became a preoccupation for Arja, one that served her well, especially during the long winters. It could almost be stated that when others fell short in the reading department, Arja made up for the shortfall.
On one of these occasions, when her grandparents and aunt from Tampere in Middle Finland came on their regular Christmas visit, they also brought along the book, Lassie Come Home by Erich Knight. Arja made an instant connection to the book, which at first glance was a story of a dog. While absorbed in the book Arja settled in, forgetting about everybody else. It was only after some time that the others realized she was missing. In fact, she was not so much missing, but on the contrary, everybody else had moved away, leaving her totally engrossed in the story of Lassie.
Primary class II, Turku-Finland, 1954
Books became a reliable partner carrying Arja through her entire life. During later years, when raising her own family of six children, time for books was not so readily available. Life’s priorities meant books had to be set-aside for quite a number of years until her husband Martin took on writing during his retirement. This meant the return of the opportunity to actively read books in three different languages— English, Finnish, and German— but it also enabled Arja to act as an amateur editor and pre-polish Martin’s writings.
Arja and sister Raija 1958
Thus it was that Martin and Arja came to discover a worthwhile, new, common occupation. Attentive reading and writing can help unleash one’s own spark of ideas, supported by creative images of fantasy. Whereas television, cinema, and video all produce finished images, a different world is created in the pages of a book. It became a whole life experience for Arja to prepare part of her life with experiences collected from books and then go out together with her husband Martin to collect real life experiences from many parts of the world.
Good life preparations have always helped to get through bad times that often in hindsight are recognized as some of the best ones. It is a good way to step aside in a life from time to time and escape from life’s pressure, often coming from an early journey through the world of books.
Arja’s mother Tysse realized this and supported her hobby in order to keep her isolated from the problems that father Petteri brought into the family. However, not everything was bad, but Tysse still managed to keep those potentially damaging and unnecessary experiences separate from those young lives. This earned her a lasting respect. Arja’s younger sister led her life quite differently after she had grown up. Life’s destiny probably ensured that Arja became closer to her grandparents and aunt whereas her sister was closer to her parents.
Arja’s sister Raija already joined friends playing away from home whereas Arja found more freedom at home with her books and with excursions with the dog through the nearby fields and forests. There was also the company of long time friend Tuija, with whom Arja spent every available hour before her family moved to the city. They were both rather quiet young girls, sharing similar interests.
“The other kids in the neighbourhood quickly found a nickname for me,” remembers Arja. “They called me ‘sausage’ because in their view I was too often engrossed with my books. In their imagination all my reading could have turned me, eventually, into an idle sausage-like person. What they didn’t always see was that I also had my share of activities at home with some work needing to be done inside and around the house. I had my small section of veggie garden, which was proudly maintained, so when a salad plant, carrot or onion came on the table out of the garden, the product of your own efforts tasted much better than the bought stuff.”
Besides all this, swimming, boating and trying to catch fish with very basic fishing gear, excursions to the city or into the surroundings and regular sauna helped to keep everybody busy enough. The other kids couldn’t yet realize that they were rather the ones on the ‘sausage’ track. Life in the years ahead, actually confirmed that.
Going every so often by train to Tampere and staying for a week or so with her grandparents in Middle Finland was seen as a great personal privilege. Grandparents always had the time that one’s own parents could hardly find. This generation’s outlook on life, with their ample experience, can be beneficial for an upcoming generation. It enables them to look beyond present problems into the future.
‘Mummi’ and ‘taata’ (grandma and grandpa) had, on the ground floor of their house, their own grocery store at that time. The house lay on a busy road leading in and out of the city so that a great number of regular customers from around the area knew Arja’s grandparents well. Their reliable service to shop visitors earned them a respected reputation. This was reflected by a steady flow of visitors during the day’s opening hours without the so often unwanted interruptions of passing trade with which larger places in the city had to deal.
The day started very early here, especially when receiving the milk cans and the ice from the iceman. By the time Arja got out of her bed on the second floor in the front of the house, work in the shop had already been going for some hours during the very early morning.
Grandma and grandpa regularly changed the attendance in the shop so that most of the time there was somebody who had time for Arja. She also enjoyed her time in the shop, getting to know a number of people from the area. In return, they learned that she came from ‘down south’ in Turku. Here, in her grandparents’ home, more people crossed Arja’s life than at home outside the city of Turku. This must have had a bearing on the decision to move her, after the first basic school classes, from Turku to Tampere to live with her grandparents and aunt. Aune, her mother’s sister, had also lived for most of her life in the house on the ‘Pispalanvaltatie’ number 59 (pispala-road).
Tampere was similar to home, further south in Turku. The Finnish landscape with its predominantly green pine forests, lakes, and fields came right up to the back door of the grandparents’ house. Protruding boulders had been smoothened throughout prehistoric ice ages and could be seen up to where a small garden dropped down over the rocky outcrops.
The city with its suburbs is situated on a spit of land between two major inland lakes, Pyha Lake to the north and Nassy Lake to the south. ‘Pyynikki’ rises in the centre to a respectable hill site. Here, from a massive stone-set tower over the treetops, the eye can search the city across the lake surfaces on both sides into an endlessly green forest carpet, which borders the lakeshores.
Tampere was always known as the industrial hub of Finland with a strong presence of textile and paper manufacturing. Turku, on the other hand, prevailed as the historic cultural city. Constant rivalry traditionally emerges between the two cities in which Tampere boasts of its progress, while Turku claims to be the cradle of culture. A torrent of words has been exchanged between the cities throughout time. Turku has taunted, “Tampere has only one street, nothing else.” In response, Tampere returns, “Turku has only ‘kakola’ (a prison) and ‘samppalinna’ (a good restaurant). If Turku is the cradle of culture, it’s only because its culture is still in the cradle.”
Apart from these amusing exchanges, both cities have, in real terms, something of their own to offer. When Turku claims ownership of culture, Tampere can also point to its great sons of literature. The carpenter/poet Laura Viita (born 1916) lived in Pispala, the home of Arja’s grandparents.
On top of Pyynikki Hill, an artistic expression in metal can be found bearing the memory of its famous son. Not far from Tampere, in Hameenkyro, a picturesque lake forest area, the Nobel Prize Laureate Frans Emil Sillanpaa grew up (his prize winning work, ‘Silja the maid’).
Turku-Castle, Southwest Finland
Besides those cultural attributes, Tampere is a rich industrial city, which installed a world-first, rotating, outdoor summer theatre in Pyynikki. This bore tremendous attraction for Arja during her time in Tampere. During the later school years, Arja also visited Nokia, not far from Tampere. Nokia, which is the birthplace of today’s electronic giant ‘Nokia’, was, in the early 1950s, a small place in an idyllic country site along a lake district in the middle of fir and birch forests. On the other hand, beech and oak trees were only found in the very south of the country near the Baltic Sea coast. This was because of the increasingly severe winter conditions, the further north Finland stretches.
Interestingly, in those early days, the company Nokia, which adopted the name from its location in the small town of Nokia, originally produced gumboots and car tires. It was only in the late 1960s that Nokia moved its production from gumboots to electronics. Their path was set with their invention of the first mobile phone. The very first mobile phone, in 1982, could hardly be carried because of its size and weight. At a legendary 15 kg and a price of 25000 Fin Mark, it still managed to start the revolution of mobile phone technology.
Nokia proved also to be a starting point for Arja, mostly because of its school. After a memorable, mainly quiet break with the grandparents in Tampere, life back in Turku seemed each time to have been better, at least for a short time. In these early times, Arja was torn between Turku and Tampere. Each time she changed location, she realised on reflection that everything looked different all of a sudden, to what it had appeared in close contact. However, her grandparents and Aunt Aune won her over a little bit more each time and influenced the decision to one day move to them.