POOR PREGNANT LADY
ARUL DAS
Copyright 2012 by ARUL DAS
Smashwords Edition
With
open eyes, I and she dreamed from nine months. During these dreams of
broad day light, we crossed all the hindrances of time and place,
limits in chaos. Child nourished in her abdomen always played on our
breast but in thought.
We loved child restraint starting slow,
slow creeping, joking only joking, his UN cleared pronunciation of
speaking were our weaknesses. “Would that be any child who calls us
Mom and Dad, and in our smallest home with his innocence tricks
create charm and happiness, joy and pleasure. With other children he
must transgress by lighting, and broke the mirrors, pots and in fear
hide into corner of house in guile.” It was our blood sucking wish,
but that was to be completed. After four abortions it was first child
nourished in her breath, for that cause we had started to create
ambitious aims and themes of the life. But before that, life had the
spring season and lights leaves had bloomed into the air, cloud had
dropped water on the gray land, along with blue sky all was useless
dust for us. It was first event, when time had colored the life and
created strange reflex on the existence.
Aloft span after we had
placed the feet on the land of dreams, so our days were murmuring and
innocents, and nights bathed with silvers. In these days our thoughts
were floated into the bluish color of sky and sparkling of stars. A
greatest relaxes sucked into our existence. I became obdurate like
that child which when watches stars in the gloomy night omnipotent to
catch them with smaller hands. Same feelings were also on her face,
as on the God at the time of creation.
Our thoughts were that in
future, taking birth will be same essentials; vital was first child
of universe because it was achieved by us after greatest hardships.
We were not agreeing to bear more wrath of fate again. All happy with
that creation we have to achieve, which relax our heart and award
coldness to our eyes, but fear of vanquish always tortured the minds.
We usually were planning about his future. She had said “I will
place our love’s creation in the brightness of the eyes.” And it
was mine aspiration that “woes that have fallen over me will be
ended by his aviation.”
Our wait was very close to torment, for
him we have sewed beautiful, colorful cloths and collected toys.
Arrangement for midwife was already taken. Which has informed the
days of his birth? On the fix time, when she was to birth him, I
brought midwife for her. She first made hope for us heartily but
after short span “Birth is must uphill and difficult.” So she
claimed it was not her approval in the result groves falled on us. On
the refuse of nurse, I thought about hospital, to go there, the
arrangement of transport was as difficult as gentle drizzle, during
sunny days, that reason for, some moment I completely spattered mine
heart and sense, and much puzzled and worried. A flame of hope blazed
into mine mind, so I went to well versed person of the village, told
him worried about, and requested him about his car. First he tried to
deny by showing absence of his driver, his words bumped on me, but
then “I too drive well.” I said. he gave me key of his car, which
was good omen from the natural havoc.
During the driving mine full
attention was at the back seat, where she cried in dismay, torment
and pain. On her woes mine heart flew like an injured bird and
hundred of thousand of horrid confounded me. On that omnipotent, her
cried were stopped, and slowly mine existence twisted like wet cloth,
at that moment fear touched mine heart that “ Might be her
existence breaths bird not flew away.” It also knocked the door of
mind that “In her body else being is! Whom arms will be strong and
forceful in future for our support, what! In the abdomen he has moved
his arms?” I thought same time. I watched her from the mirror and
called, on that after some seconds, she in a dismal situation dungeon
horrible fear answered slowly. Her reply was the moment of lighting
diamond fiery dulge, which furnaud with flame, and disappears into
gloom again.
It was doleful shade and region of sorrow and havoc
for me. I wanted to complete the distance speedily between the
village and the city, but ancient old span not moved to give any
support in hard hindrance, but our existence were grind by it. A
strange and doleful sorrow was it which disappeared face, it was
utter darkness. All over them was victim, that, there was the largest
number of women around the office of the lady doctors in the city
hospital. An old gate keeper lady was on the duty near the door step.
She tried to push women back. And then horrid silent began in the
mind “Doctors are engage in the taking tea.” She ever loudly
announced.
Why fate is clothed with transcendent gloom and wee
want happy realm of the light and the brightness. I watched the
loudly scene of women, but went ahead, with weltering
thoughts.
“Aunt, please give her urgent time because of labour
pains.” requested beldame gate keeper.
In repulsion, I thought,
that mine grief and weakness not myriads her mind, for that cause,
she obviously answered for coming of doctors and wait for number.
Greatest wrath and anger obdurate into mine mind, for that apathetic
and marble hearted lady. I desired about drinking all the blood of
her existence at that time. But it was only my thought………!
I
was not man-eater, I was human being, who is so sensitive, which
weeps on woes and grieves of the others, then how can off the flame
of the candle of the others life. So for a moment I diminished the
hopes into the breaths, and once again tried to take horrid hazards
to request her. Now women at the door step also inflict about her
repent few moment ago. Old lady get her enter. After the checkup, she
referred to the laboratories for test, and then to the labour room,
it was sue of graces which not disdain now me, as past spans.
Now
I was to be, of deified and I down fall of the ignominy. But mine
satisfactions not remain constant. We were told that it was the case
of “cesarean section” which solving for, no any senior lady
doctor was arranged.
“It is the case of the Gynecologist”
junior lady doctors said, so she was at leave that day. We also
advised to go aside city and case was reffered there.
“Grief
like the cuts of sword appeared on the face” when listened deny.
Hear was woe damply on that solitary rumble, Mine heart voiced like
drum bell. Still I was thinking about solution, a nurse of labour
room get away side me.
“Due to government hospital every one
tries to get off its importance and places on others.” She said
mildly “Gynecologist is on leave but she can treat you on the
private hospital.” With well wishes she informed in a hidden way
“It is better to spend money and get to privately.”
I thanked
the nurse on her advice and reached to the privet clinic of local
Gynecologist. After the checkup she also advised about “cesarean
section” we were agreed about that operation but after a moment she
also told us that “At this time mine guests are present at my home,
hereby I can not solve your case.”
After that mine position
became as a man who sinks in the water and saving reason for his life
forcely moves his arms and legs. I also drabbled in the darkness for
the light. I started urgently and bowing words with, requesting the
Gynecologist for commiseration, she moved the head in refuse, then it
became uphill to request against request.
“You may go to any
other place.” After getting checkup fees “Gynecologist” said in
a worried way.
Then I grieved moor in monstrous situation. Mine
life’s train was stopped at any plate form, and engine was gone for
filling the water. I thought, I felt greatest despair and disgrace by
signal of seldom happies.
I oscillated between the grace and
disgrace sat hurly at the car for near by city. I wanted to complete
the journey as air. In high speed of the car and sorrows tensions no
any man, no any scene I watched, realized as. Which will witnessed
about the accident but safe and drived car with same speed.
Not to
government hospital we reached at the private medical center. There
also the doctors with the profession have compelled us for the
“cesarean section”, so distance met together and I watched the
every scene with sorrowful, woeful and grievly eyes. Some reflex of
episodes of the events came into the mind,
doctors….nurses….drips….injections….and her taken away
stretcher to the operation theater. Every moment with air would give
me glades. Now mine life’s train was to be started, walking over
the path of the hopes and the train was again to be filled with
dreams and the thoughts, and engine’s “shuk…. Shuk….shuk”
appeared to which the distances of mine heart’s grieves was to be
finished.
We waited out of the operation theater. Wait’s birds
moved on our eyes eyelids. The faces of mine father and brother in
law were to the door. Instantly they stood from their seats, I
watched their glad faces. They stood suddenly as any stands in the
well come of the Crown Prince. Abruptly I too changed mine face to
words the door. In white colour cloths a nurse came out, mine heart
danced to see the little existences in her hands. I begger like
begged the chilled, and came close to the nurse. But her face has
darked lines, before mine reaching my father raised arms to the
nurse. Grieves clouds appeared on her eyes. All though mine eyes
catched the theme of the sorrows on her face, she gave child with
grief and said “That was a son, but not alive.”
By listening
these words, I falled from the seven skies. Mine position was as a
child, who with hard ships catches coulorful balloon but, at a clap
thread threats the hand and balloon flys to the atmosphere. I also
missed thread from mine hand; all at once the time has been outrun
like a blind and deaf road roller by crushing any thing. Mine hands
lines of the fate became shortest which were much longest, and
magnetic wire gripped me, swallowed me. My apprehension came before
the real shape and reality with open eyes saw into mine eyes. In the
world of mine thoughts quack appeared. Although I drank grieves sip
by sip, but was alive.
I tried to watch by decreasing shades over
the eyes. Suddenly the sentence of mine father collides to mine ears,
also with courage full words mine brother in law spoke. They both has
emphasized to be agree to the almighty power of God, but were fulled
with the poison, I thought their sentences emotion suddenly appeared
on mine heart.
“This is not commandment of God of sky, but upon
us that has thanked the land’s gods.” I said in thoughts “These
land’s gods became so un-grace scissor, witch amputate the veins of
life with its blind speed.” I wanted to tell that “Life is the
bride of the events.” The ice of mine silency start to melt, mine
father’s sound again collides with the ears.
“Now we have to
go the home for arrangement of obsequies.” said to mine brother in
law, he also agreed by moving the head, then they started preparation
to take the dead body of the child.
“Please! Oh please! Don’t
insolate the part of mine existence, because without him I’ll
remain uncompleted.” I said with the tongue of eyes. “….And
what will happen of her who has kept him nine months in her breaths?!
That existence was the part of her soul and body. For him she has
dreamed to him on her breast for ever. This existence was the strange
toy that played much time in her breaths and abdomen. She has
realized his moment for six months. She hoped in heart that, she will
play and spend her whole life with that toy, she will keep him like a
necklace till to her last breath, but fate has what performed with
her …!” I wanted to say further “Now when the truth will come
before her then her rest will be destroyed. The beautiful building of
her dreams will be destroyed for ever, and victimized idols of the
time would create mourn place on It.” Oh! God! Mine heart sighed
“What happened….how happened….and why happened…?”
I did
not satisfy myself by blast of volcano only waves of blaze appeared.
In hopes I was graved. I thought all quacks would be finished as
entered in the valley of the eyes. No any path was clear, but was
buried in the grave of darkness and the solitude and like past glom
will boom same way in mine life. In the universe of solitude I was
alone, so I was not able to sound myself too. Mine existence’s leaf
was diminished by the air of time. So solitude’s vale was mine
hell.
In eye to eye I beseeched before mine father and brother in
law, but they did not understand mine request, now mine hopes and
dreams were in their hands.
When the gate of the car was closing,
in which mine dreams were placed. Then due to the nameless motivity I
moved forward, and first and last time placed hand on his angelic
face, and said in thoughts “Why you only not lived alive between
thousands and billions peoples…!” then bird flew suddenly, and
the branch of mine heart’s tree was bereft by his feet.
After
disappearing of car mine eyes were fulled with tears, control on the
weeping I looked up at the sky, where sun had fare well to the
harvest and veaper of the lives in the world. Reddish color was
spread as dust was blazed in whole days. I spread mine eyes that
atmosphere. Some climate was in mine heart.
“Like mine heart,
would be same sorrows atmosphere on the others hearts.”
I
reached to the room by thoughts and carrying heavy tons of the feet,
and dropping over the bed. I wept freely. I wept there, and tried to
plan the make-shift by creating any beautiful lie or dissemble as I
would face her from the shock and tried to change the feature.
In
attack of ideas, I engulfed into brine water. Some time thoughts, a
fierce echo was engaged to me unconscious and crack. Mine mind
realized that all were not moments, but thin, very thin needles were
puzzling me. These moments has a loft time given me death and life?
Suddenly she was brought on the wheel stretcher into the room, during
the havoc series of the thought. She was still uncious with pints of
blood. When nurses and ward boys had shifted her to the bed, I sat on
her head side and walked in the ocean of the thoughts.
She moved
the lips and wanted to say some thing, when she came into the aware
ness and conscious. She had not been able to move the tongue, so she
watched me with the eyes of questions. I realized that she wants to
know about the result of the operation. I knew her aim, and then
exam’s birds started to make nests on the tree of mine existence. I
had hidden mine grieves and sorrows in thousands layers of the breast
from her stare aghast and himself as by the taking the wine cup on
the hands, made a cold smile on the lips. I thought himself as a
flame creator toy, during the storms of the woes into the heart and
brought relax able smile on the face, which reflexes in the hands of
the children who plays it for his happiness cause, but in the reality
its shining material little flame appears.